For the past four decades, female adultery has been on a steady increasing. The society has conditioned them not to do so until now
33% of women admit that they have had sex at some time in their life with someone who was not their official partner . This is ensured by a study conducted by the French Institute of Public Opinion (IFOP). Using a sample of 3,406 respondents, the investigation assesses the extent of the infidelity and in particular the motivations, disposition and brakes that they impose on themselves. The adultery in women has always been a taboo subject that even today is inconceivable subject to sanctions in certain states.
According to the website Victoria Milan, aimed at married people looking to have an affair, has delved beyond the psychological motives and has discovered that, apparently, it all comes down to a very specific habit of the act: oral sex . Men and women decide whether to have that extramarital relationship if in this encounter they will receive this kind of sexual pleasure.
The study conducted a survey with 9,107 active members of the portal (from 22 countries in total, including Australia, South Africa and Europeans) and asked what would be the most decisive aspect that would lead them to commit infidelity. Around 65% of them and 68% of them considered that oral sex makes the difference between doing it or not.
Swiss journalist and writer Michèle Binswanger is clear that society says cheating is bad, and particularly, badly seen when women do it . How many times have we heard comments where if the men lay down they were macho and if they did, they were dirty. For a terribly long time, women were told not to express their intimate desires or speak openly about sex, having to become the perfect partners for their men.
They are fed up. They want to stop complying with this old-fashioned and macho image. So this Swiss writer has decided to perform ‘Cheating: A Handbook for Women’, her second book, only available (for now) in German , where many topics on female sexuality are discussed. In this story, Binswanger tells the stories of several modern women who have cheated on their partners, stories we don’t hear often .
Many studies suggest that men are more unfaithful than they are. Although the trend is changing , the figures indicate that between 70-80% of them will put the horns at some time in their life compared to 30-40% of them.
According to François Kraus , director of Policy and Current Studies at the IFOP Opinion Department, 62% of potentially unfaithful women declared that the physical attractiveness of the other person plays a decisive role in taking the final step. Not everything is limited to external beauty , as other determining criteria to explore sexuality outside official relationships are the feelings that the other person awakens (55%) or the high attention or affection on the part of the partner (50%) .
In addition, it should be noted the role that new forms of encounter are playing through mobile applications and web pages. Specifically, 42% of potentially unfaithful women acknowledge that they could use one of these options, preferring general services (37%) over those specialized in extra-conjugal meetings (29%).
But do women cheat less than men because it is really part of their nature? Or is it the social conditioning and what they are expected to do? Binswanger thinks it’s the second. “It is known that women are more sensitive to social pressure than men and there have always been more impositions on the proper sexual behavior of women,” he told ‘The Independent’.
“Traditionally they also had fewer opportunities because their chances of staying at home with children were greater,” he explains. After all, if you’re not dating and meeting other people with whom you have a steamy love, there is less chance of you having one. This is being different during the last years, since the liberation of women has changed their attitudes towards their sexuality .
“Today, women have higher expectations than 40 years ago about their sex life , they want to experiment and are generally more independent,” says the journalist, adding that technology has given both sexes more opportunities than before .
The Era of Technology
But smartphones and social networks have also erased the lines of what really constitutes a hoax. If you get into someone’s private messages on Twitter and exchange a few conversations out of tune, is it cheating? Is an emoticon comment allowed by winking in an Instagram post ? What if you upload a topless photo to Snapchat?
Psychologists say that while women are more bothered by emotional issues , it is carnal desire that hurts them the most. This may explain why each sex tends to cheat for different reasons.
“For men it is often a matter of opportunity,” says Binswanger. “If they get it and the risk of being caught is very small, they are more likely to do so. However, they have more opportunities, but other motivations,” says the writer. In the speech for his book, Binswanger found that most of the women who cheated on their partners had felt frustrated in some way in their relationship, and in their case they felt unwanted or simply unhappy, so they started looking for arousal. with other people.
She says that this is often done unconsciously, and it is not until after they are caught cheating when they realize why they have done it. Binswanger argues that being unfaithful can in some cases be a good thing: “For some women I talked to, it helped them discover their sexuality, their deepest desires and their own needs. Some told me that their partner never listened to them and even having spoken things, nothing changed for years until they were cheated, “he says.
Women have higher expectations than 40 years ago about their sex life, want to experiment and are more independent
“When their partners began to realize that they had almost lost their spouse , everything changed. And if the relationship survives infidelity and the two find a way to handle the experience, deception can, like any controlled crisis, bring a couple. ” So, essentially, having a romance can give your partner a touch of attention and make him appreciate you again. It is a risky approach, but it may work.
“Throughout history, women have always been disciplined for their sexuality and are not allowed to have a light and cheerful approach,” he says. “Sure, sometimes it’s hard to fight feelings of jealousy, but sex is great, so why is it so difficult to allow someone we love and trust to have sex with other people?” He concludes. It is a difficult question to answer , but many people would say that it is simply prohibited.
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